Monique and I met for the last time at our usual meeting spot, Union Grounds. It was the last day of classes for both of us.
She told me how excited she was to be going home to Brazil at the end of the
week. I was surprised, because I thought that she, like myself, would also have
finals after classes were done. However, she told me that she had already had
her finals and that her semester was officially complete. Still, there was an
end-of-semester party for her entire class. But she wasn’t planning on attending
because she had to prepare to go home. Also, she didn’t have many close friends
in her course.
She
realized that she didn’t have many close friends in her course because she
found that many of her classmates had different values and beliefs to her, as
they were of different cultures. For example, she had an experience at the
beginning of the semester. When it was still hot, she had worn a tank top to
class and one of her classmates confronted her and told her that she needed to
put a jacket on. This was because, in his culture, women do not reveal so much
skin. She was a little irritated by this but she didn’t want to start any
commotion so she just put on a jacket. However, she reassured me that, even
though she may disagree with her classmates’ values, she still respected her
classmates; she just gets irritated when people, in general, try to force their
beliefs and values on her.
This
led to a discussion on differing values and attitudes across the globe. She
said that, in Brazil, people are relatively open-minded but this is why she is
always worried she may unintentionally offend others. For instance, during her
presentation on Brazil that she gave last week, she had included pictures of
Carnival, a Brazilian festival analogous to Mardi Gras. These pictures
consisted of topless women in bright colors, which was a typical scene during Carnival.
However, during Monique’s presentation, one of her classmates reacted to this
image by leaving the class. Initially, Monique was confused but after, she
realized that she had unintentionally opposed one of this classmate’s values.
In
turn, I told her that having been raised in an international environment, I
understood where she was coming from. I have had many experiences in which my
values and beliefs were challenged. However, I told her that I am glad that my
values have been challenged because it has given me the opportunity to
strengthen my own values, as I have had to justify my values with each
challenge. Moreover, I told her that my international experience has allowed me
to become more open-minded and accepting towards others’ beliefs but still stand
firmly on my beliefs. In response, she told me that she thought that I had
adopted the exact attitude that is needed in our world today, because norms are
constantly changing with advances in society and technology. Nonetheless, we
came to the conclusion that there is still a need to be cautious when dealing
with controversial issues in order to keep a civil environment.
This has, by far, been my
favorite conversation I have had with Monique all semester. It was an honest
conversation in which we both presented our own values and respected each other
while doing so. I feel that I gained further insight on the changing norms
across the globe. Moreover, it was interesting to see that we had adopted
similar behaviors when interacting with others of different values, even though
we had different backgrounds. Unfortunately, our meeting was cut short because
Monique had to go and buy gifts for her family in Brazil. It was sad when we bid
each other good-bye. But assured each other that we would continue to keep in
touch. We already hope to meet again at the beginning of next semester when we
return.
